Melissa’s speciality is general practice and palliative medicine (hospice). She has three daughters aged 15, 11 and five, and lives in Whangarei.

• How does general practice and palliative medicine fit in with your family?
  I can fit the job easily around family needs.
• You are seven years out of medical school—how have you fitted in training?
  My husband has worked from home, so could always fit his schedule around the children. Doing my RMO years, study and GP training has been much easier to achieve because of this. Our load is more evenly shared now that I can choose when I work.
• Do you have any advice for doctors-in-training who are thinking about balancing a career and kids?
  If the other parent is not at home with the children I recommend a nanny if finances allow, it will take so much stress out of the picture not having to worry about daycare and ferrying to activities. Alternatively, or as well as, a housekeeper—it changed my life. Money well spent, it means I can spend what spare time I do have with my family.
• How has a medical career affected your family?
  I think I am a good role model for my daughters. A slightly better income means our standard of living is good and I also have job security given the current economic state. The long hours in the early years were tough but it’s totally worth it to be where we are now.
• What support do you get from your family?
  Very little but my mother-in-law has traditionally had our preschoolers one day per week. However trying to make it all fit around other people’s timetables makes it more of a hindrance than a help at times. It’s great if there is good family support but it’s also possible without it.
• How have you managed your training while bringing up a family?
  Constantly aiming for balance with regular fine tuning. There has to be sufficient time spent with family so that you feel like you’re making a valid contribution to your children’s lives. You also need time for yourself for exercise, creative outlets and relaxation. Trying really hard to not put your relationship at the bottom of the ‘needs’ list is important—a relationship needs feeding as well. Obsessive, insane study is for people who are single; 80% is still a pass.
• How did you find the support from your college?
  Very average. My placement requests were not taken into consideration and I had unreasonable driving times because of how far away one of the practices was. I was really disappointed especially since general practice prides itself on work/life balance.
• What, if any, problems did you encounter when returning to training?
  I’ve never really left training… I became a nurse then went to medical school, did my two RMO years including GP then did a post grad diploma in palliative medicine over a year, then PRIMEX last year…I had three children across the whole decade!
• How did you/Did you maintain CME while on maternity leave?
  I’ve always had related interests and so while I might not have gathered sufficient accredited points during the time I was off I still went to conferences and talks that I was interested in.
• If you were just graduating from medical school again, what would you do differently?
  I wouldn’t have stressed so much because it all works out in the end.